It's been a long, difficult and mentally trying 31.5 hours since the Spain v Portugal match ended....and there is still another 22.5 hours until kickoff between the Dutch and Brazil! It's horrible, FIFA gives us three matches a day for two weeks and then expects us to survive 48+ hours with not live football to enjoy. Forget goal line technology, bad referees and bloated ignorant organization presidents, this two day hiatus might be FIFA's greatest crime against football. Ok, I'm exaggerating but still, this sucks.
So in an effort to distract myself, I decided to reach back to elementary school days and utilize a classic educator time-waster known as the "What I Did During My Summer Vacation" essay. I've modified the idea for this two day hiatus we are faced with and hopefully some of my most excellent readers will add to this in the comments with what they did to survive this break.
So, with all that in mind, I give you...
What I Did During my World Cup "Vacation"
by Zach "Ginge" Woosley
It feels just like yesterday that the last World Cup match was played. When the final whistle blew, I ran happily from my cubicle, throwing various papers away in the hallway and boarded the bus home. Two whole days of freedom! The possibilities were endless!...well, not really.
When the Spain v Portugal match ended, a cold dread washed over me, much like when you are in the shower and the hot water runs out because the last person who showered took way to long and didn't have the decency to remember there are other people who would like hot water...deep breath...
What am I supposed to do now to help the day go by at work? The past two weeks have been built around games and now I have to deal with 8 hours of work with no football to distract me! I decided to do the only logical thing, actually work.
I figured it would be a good idea to clear some of the backlog of emails, request and other annoying things from all the the people in the building who haven't realized that the World Cup is more important that whatever pointless task they were attempting to complete. With that done, I basically just stared at the wall for 6 hours until I could go home.
At home things were much easier, there were plenty of shows on the DVR to watch as I had spent every waking moment since June 11th watching and re-watching football matches. I caught up on the Deadliest Catch, which is made all the more disturbing by the fact that we know Phil Harris is dead but we are having to watch everyone suffer through the aftermath of his stroke as the producers play up the question of will he recover or not.
I finally watched the two new Futurama episodes. Both funny, but a little disappointing. I'm thinking they just need to get their groove back, so to speak. Still, life is better when Bender is on my TV for 30 minutes on a weekly basis.
Two episodes of Lie to Me watched and for tonight, I've got Burn Notice and Royal Pains to catch up on as well.
Clearly, home is not the problem.
So today I'm back at work, with 5.5 hours left until my day is over. This is the point in this essay where we've caught up to real time. This moment is very much like in Spaceballs when they are trying to figure out how to find Lonestar and the Princess and they put "Spaceballs: The VHS" in to the player and fast-forward until they are staring at themselves in the monitor.
Unfortunately for me, I can't fast forward beyond this current spot in space-time so I'm stuck theorizing about what the hell I'm supposed to do until tomorrow morning. I suppose I could answer some emails, maybe get with a technician to fix the wonky copier on the third floor. Where the hell is a TARDIS when you really need one?
Whatever it is I choose to do, I better think fast because I'm out of things to write about in this essay....sweet, it's 11:00am, only 22 hours to kickoff!
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